Dr. Melanie Said Hi

Today Moms worked from home because Archibaldini has had snotty eyes. (Gross. True.) For like six weeks now, Moms said that Archie's eye ducts (you know, where he'd cry if he were a crybaby) were a raw red. Dads sort of agreed but then finally said it looked stinky so we should call Dr. Melanie.

Do you know who Dr. Melanie is? I'll tell you. She is the V-E-T. We have an at-home vet. She only makes housecalls with her pal, Julie. Dr. Melanie gets PAID to poke and prod us. It is not fair.

When Dr. Melanie and Julie came over, I rubbed up on Julie's pants to get her furry. But then, I smelled the OTHERS (just like on "Lost") and I ran and hunkered down in my IKEA kitten pop tent. JULIE FOLLOWED ME. Then I started to growl (some say I growl like a dog, but I do not know what a dog is) and swat. That made Julie go away.

Litle did I know that Dr. Melanie just wanted to say hi to Archie and, boy, did she say hi -- with a rectal thermometer. Archie was a "good boy" just because he didn't growl and swat or nothing. Dr. Melanie put Archie on kat amoxicillin and he has to take his eye goobers again. Sucky.

But then...THEN! Dr. Melanie was all like, "Oh...we gave Archie an exam today so if we give one to John today then we don't have to come back in May." And Moms was like, "OK." OK!?! While she was poking and prodding Archie, I snuck upstairs. So Moms came and got me and then I got mad at Moms (I growled...sorry Moms) and then Dr. Melanie poked my tummy and listened to my wheezy lungs and stuff and then I ate ten treats all by myself. It was so awful that I hid under Aunt Nan's bed (formerly known as Pat & Elaine's bed) for three wheezy hours.

Dudes. This is not ok. Poking and prodding. Not ok.

Your purring (poked and prodded pal),
JDamn!