April Showers (of fur)

**THIS PICTURE IS NOT ME!!! IT IS A STOCK WEB PHOTO!!! NOT ME!!! (I'm cuter. And I shed more.)**

Hello, every-bod-eeeeee! It's me, JohnJohn - aka your favorite blogger, JDamn! I have not written in a long time because Moms and Dads are working wicked hard. They work all week long and, on the weekends, they go to the other house and paint all weekend. Then they do it all over again. One time, Moms even went to the new house to paint after work!

I have not seen the new house but I have sniffed their paint color choices. If you want to see them, go to the Sherwin-Williams Paint Visualizer and search for Overt Green, Afternoon and French Roast. Overt Green (it's overt!) is the color of our guest room (aka my resting space); Afternoon (a bright cheery yellow) is the color of our whatever-it-wants-to-be upstairs room; and French Roast, the color of dark coffee grounds, is the accent wall in moms and dads (and my) room. That's kinda as far as they got. Now they have to figure out the floor. And they have to figure out when they are moving. The pictures are still stuck in Moms' camera because she packed the cable somewhere and she doesn't know where. I said I would be a helperbee but I keep falling asleep or playing with my toys so you all will just have to wait until she finds it, k? K.

If you haven't noticed, it's Spring. There are little flowers popping up in the view of Trump Fairfield. Spring also has a special meaning for me: shedding time. Last night, Moms got me and Archy a present to share - a brand new double-wide scratchie board with fresh catnip. Catnip makes me wild -- and it makes Archy Cat sleepy. After we both rolled in it and had a wicked good time, we went up to the bathroom to have a drink of water out of the cup that Dads leaves for us in the shower. Archy was sitting on the potty, starring at the pretty water. I was wicked happy (from the catnip) so I said, "HI!!!!" about twenty times to Archy Cat. What followed my kind, lovely and repeated gesture earned Archy a time-out. ARCHY MO-FO PAWED ME. A lot. Ok. I mo-fo pawed him back, too -- and contact was made by both of us. Since I was on the floor and Archy was on the toilet, he unfortunately had the upper paw (literally). Moms heard the thrashing on the floor and said, "Stop it!" a few times while she cooked in the kitchen, but we didn't.

When she came upstairs, she saw the aftermath: little tufts of my precious grey fur everywhere. There were probably twenty tufts floating around. Some of it was shedding, but Archy rushed the shedding process - those tufts were not ready to come outside. So Moms sees what happens and she looks at me and says, "No, No, Bad Kitty! Bad JohnJohn!" And I said, "Moms. I did not do it. Why do you think I always did the naughty deeds!?!? I DID NOT DO IT!" And I stamped my paws on the floor. (Normally this is the time that I'd call my lawyer, but seeing as my lawyer is my brother, Archibald, who wasn't talking to me, I wasn't sure it was a viable option.)

Moms kept going on and on about how naughty I am. She said something about, "Look at your poor, innocent brother...." She turned to look at Archy, sitting on the floor-missing no tufts of fur. He had his innocent eyes turned on and looked at Mom with his most angelic face. But Archy didn't know something. On the end of his long pointy whiskers, there sat a tuft of fur. MY fur. He couldn't see it wafting in the breeze of the heat vent, but it was there. Moms saw it -- and I was vindicated. Moms ran to get the camera to take a picture of my guilty brother, but Archy figured it out and ate the tuft of fur before she could capture it. Because I was made out to be guilty before being proven innocent, Moms and Dads let me play treat-ball in bed last night. I got a lot out of the treat ball-I think I ate 17 of them!

In other news, my right eyebrow is now missing. It fell out somewhere. If you see it, please return it.

Purrs & kisses,

JDamn - OUT!