All Better!

Hi, everybody! It's me, John John! Guess what? I'm no longer sick. Moms and Dads put their parenting pants on and made me take medicine. When I said, "No, Moms! NO! You're so mean!!!" Moms responded by saying, "I do not care." She was mean, but Dads said that she had to be. He also said something about putting on my "big boy pants" but I don't know what he was talking about.

We played some games with my medicine. First, Moms hid my antibiotics in a Greenies Pill Pocket. Greenies markets this product with the slogan, "A daily treat to encourage pilling compliance." (Sounds like some crap that Archy wrote in one of his legal briefings.) Guess what, folks? You can still taste the pill if you bite it, and antibiotics taste nasty. I thrashed my tongue around after eating the first "treat" and refused to eat the rest of the special goodies for the rest of my treatment time. Moms had to resort to hurling the pills down my throat while holding me like a baby. It's a known fact that I'm not very mobile or able to resist when held like a tot, so Moms won every time. Crappy. But then I got tons of real treats after the nasty pill and then I forget about it.

I've come a long way. When I got sick, Moms and Dads knew I didn't feel good because I fell asleep with my head in the big puddle of water in the bathtub and did not care. But now I feel great! I am back to my old self, scooping tissues out of the box at three in the morning, emptying the bedroom garbage can at four in the morning, and pawing Moms in the face at five. I know Moms and Dads are so happy that I feel better and that I'm back to my old self. They tell me so when they wake up every hour to make me stop playing.

There's some new activity at our house. We have a "regular" squirrel now. The tot, Arden June, named him Corny because he eats the corn off the cobs that Dads leaves for him. To get to his corn, Corny tromps through Moms' flower boxes, so she had to move them. He's kind of skinny; we're hoping the corn will plump him up. He is fun to watch and easy to scare, but I think we're friends. Well, we're at least pals.

We also have poison ivy! Moms has never seen it before. Mama Harde came over a few weeks ago and identified all the plants in our new yard. Some are good plants (like hydrangeas) and others are evil (like the poison ivy). Dads got some spray to make the ivy die. I will watch him spray it from our lovely picture window, thank you very much.

I also go Outside every chance I get. Outside is great. It has a pic-i-nic table, and chairs with cushions and a ceiling fan! Moms and Dads keep saying outside with "quotation marks" around it, and sometimes I hear the phrase "screened-in porch" and "Jonathan will never be allowed outside because of his asthma." I don't know what they're talking about. I go Outside every single day. I jiggle the doorknob to let Moms and Dads know that it's time to let me out. They think it's cute. Archy goes outside, too, and we get fresh water and sometimes we dine al fresco (Archy taught me that phrase). If you come over, maybe we can dine al fresco together.

Wondering about my picture? It's nice. It's a picture that we had Moms take of me, just in case I decide to join Archy's law firm. So far, it's not something I'm interested in, but I don't want to rule anything out at this point.

Kisses to all of my loyal fans -- JDamn - OUT!