Sorry for the delay in my blogging. Usually I'm more regular than this but, well, it's been a busy time. My Aunt Nan came to stay in our house, Moms and Dads went to the tot Arden's 5th birthday party, Dad saw a deer, and there have been turkeys everywhere. So, with all of the excitement, my typing has slowed. Again, sorry.
However, it seems that Auntie Pam is the only one who noticed. She accosted Moms on the street the other day and said, "Why hasn't JD blogged?" Moms mumbled something about me being busy and then Auntie Pam said, "But you type for him, don't you? Are you trying to blame the delay on that cute, chubby cat?"
Yes. It's true. My Moms types for me. She takes dictation. But one day a while ago, I said I wanted to try typing. Did you know that cats cannot type? It's physically impossible. I have a wicked big paw that, when aimed at a key, types kiujhnm and a wicked big tumtum that, when placed on the keyboard, types dkjf;asdhyfiauewhfnanfdjk;sfhn;ajsghvipuahdnfksnsdakjfds. An error message then appears, followed by the blue screen of death. I'm not allowed to type anymore.
So. What has been happening lately? #1 - I've lost some weight! I'm down to a svelt 18.6 lbs, and Archy is down to 16.7 lbs. We're still away from our goal weights of 16 and 14 lbs, respectively, but we are looking darn good. Sometimes I walk by a mirror and think, "Gee, that's a mighty fine cat!"
#2 - The turkeys. They're everywhere!!! We have nine of them, all girls. We haven't seen the girl one with babies in a while, though. This one time, Dads threw wheat bread at them, and the next morning, all the turkeys ran to Moms looking for more bread. She was going to work and didn't have any and she kind of got freaked out by the flock or gaggle of running turkeys who were asking for free food. It seems that turkeys really do have bird brains, since they forgot to ask Moms for food the next morning, and the morning after that. The turkeys like to stop traffic in front of our house. They sit in the street, or strut in a really, slow moving line like senior citizens at a buffet. Sometimes they get divided, and half are over at Mr. and Mrs. Melman's house and half are at our house. I asked Aunt Nan if I could eat one. She said they wouldn't be very tasty like my Elegant Medley's Fancy Feast. She said they would be tough and gamey. I said I like games - checkers are fun and stick to the bald spot on my stomach real good. She said a different kind of gamey. I said, "Oh."
#3 - My Aunt Nan came! Well, Aunt Nan is really my Moms' aunt, so I guess she's my Great Aunt Nan. She stayed on Archy and my bed in the green room. She gave me lots of tumtum scratches, head scratches and rump scratches, and said I am wicked, wicked cute. She also let me go on the screened-in porch, my favorite place to be!!! I love my Aunt Nanner. She is swell.
#4 - The tot, Arden, turned 5. She got a party and, at her party, she got something called a pin-yah-tah. My birthday is in December and, at my party, I want a pin-yah-tah. Arden's was in the shape of a tiara. I want mine in the shape of a monster truck.
Since you have to share, Arden's little brother, Jack (the other tot), got to whack the thing too. Tots were blindfolded (Think folks - tots with bats and no sight. Kind of wrong, right?), but Jack got to peek. Peeking didn't really help is aim though.
Finally, when the pin-yah-tah was gutted, Arden and Jack's moms ran around the tots and sprinkled extra candy on their heads. Do you know what I want to come out of my pin-yah-tah? Fancy Feast Elegant Medley cans and these new treats called Friskie's Party Mix.
They're new, they're tasty, and there's a shape and flavor for everyone. I think the cans of Elegant Medleys should be wrapped in bubble wrap, though, so that my head isn't bopped by it. If I were to be knocked out from a can of Elegant Medleys, and Archy scooped up all of the treats and wet food from the pin-yah-tah, I would be mighty, mighty mad.
K. That's all. Dads is coming home soon. He accidentally got on the wrong train tonight, so I'm sending him a HOLLA! that he comes home soon. I've got nothing special to tell him; I just want to ask if I can go on the porch now. (Moms already said no. Mean.)
Kisses!
JDamn - OUT!
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1 comment:
Hey J-Damn, Get your Moms to scoop the wet canned food out of the cans and put it in some zip-lock baggies. That way it won't knock you out when it comes out of the pin-yah-tah and then you can open it without your Moms and a can opener. Cause as long as it took to get your Moms to type your blog for you, who knows how long it will take to get her to open your cans--it could be as slow as senior citizens at a buffet (I loved that line).
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