I'm going to be a big brother.

Hi, everybody! It is me, JohnJohn. I am sorry for my wicked long absence, but I can't really blog without the help of my Moms and, well, Moms has not felt like blogging for a very long time. See, she's been sick. No, she's not dying. Apparently, she's growing a baby. Every time I ask, "How did the baby get in Moms?" and "Did I come from inside Moms, too?," I am told something about birds, bees, squirrels and then I hear the word, "Hush." So. All I am able to share is that Moms has a baby inside of her, Dads had something to do with it, and me and Archy are going to be big brothers. Yup. Big brothers.

However, Moms and Dads had to break the news to us that we are not going to be big brothers to a cat. We are going to be big brothers to a TOT. Yes. A TOT. One of those monster things like Arden and Jack who visit me every now and again. They have sticky fingers and run after me screaming, "KITTY! KITTY!!" I don't know why Moms and Dads want to grow one of those. When they told us, I kept saying, "Why?" over and over again. Finally, they just broke down and would only respond with, "Because." So. I don't know why they picked a tot over a cat, but they said they love me and Archy lots and will still have room in their hearts to love us and we shouldn't worry. So I ate the treats they gave us and moved along.

The tot is supposed to arrive on May 12, so Moms will be eighteen weeks pregnant on Tuesday. She is wicked good at throwing up furballs, and now has some happy medicine to keep the furballs down. Moms and Dads are not going to find out if it is going to be a girl tot or a boy tot. They said something about needing the "surprise" to get through labor. I hope it winds up being a surprise cat.

Even though Dads is the one who helps Moms when she's throwing up and needs grilled cheese sandwiches and has to go to the hospital, this baby thing has taken a toll on me, too. I'm not getting my full eighteen hours of beauty sleep like I used to, so Moms, unfortunately, caught this shot of me. It was after a catnip bender. I'm so ashamed.



O faithful readers, while Moms and Dads are pregnant, and I am going to be a big brother, that doesn't mean this blog is going to turn into a baby blog. NO. This is still JDAMN! and I still have lots to share. For instance, during my blogging hiatus, Dads saw a deer with horns in the yard and a possum. (Moms saw the deer; she didn't see the possum. We're humoring Dads on the possum thing, as it could have also been a rat.) I also spent one full week on a stake-out in the kitchen. There was something under the stove. Yes. It could have been a molding carrot, but it also could have been the beast from hell. I spent all my waking hours, poo and chow time excluded, starring at that stove. Dads even pulled the stove out (he found some of my toys under there) but he didn't see the beast. Finally, I lost interest. But it does count as an activity during my hiatus from blogging.



Dads also bought a fire-breathing machine! It's called a pellet stove. It eats little, little pellets of wood (which look remarkably like bunny food) and spits out toasty goodness. We like it lots. Archy and I get brave and bop the fire glass when the machine is sleeping. It's easier to be brave when the risk of catching fire is at its lowest point.



And, yes, faithful readers. I have finally seen the squirrel that Moms and Dads talk about so much. Corny was chowing at the corn cob and I saw him. I now stare at him religiously, as if I were paying attention in church. He's darn cute, and has a friend, Corny, Too. We ran out of corn cobs, and so did the Home Depot, so Dads bought him a suet brick, which he chowed through in two days. Never fear. We have video proof! But that, my readers, will need to wait until the next blog.

So. I'm back! You may now rejoice!

Wishing you all toasty pellet stove goodness,
JDAMN - OUT!